Xorton's Rant

What you say to users: "Be careful with your computer. It is not a toy. And for God's sake, it is imperative that you do regular backups. Failure to do backups may result in irretrievable loss of data should something unfortunate happen to your computer." What users hear: "Blah, blah, blah, something nerdy. Blah, blah blah, something boring. Blah, blah blah, something technical and complicated. Blah blah blah, is he still talking? I'm going to think about bunny rabbits." Outwardly I'm always polite and nice to users. Sometimes though when I come across a computer which has clearly been horribly abused (had it been an animal would have been taken away by the Humane Society and taken to a better home... or put to sleep) I tend to feel just a little like Darth Vader in that scene in the Empire Strikes Back. You know the one with Admiral Ozzel who came out of light-speed to close to the Hoth system. "You have failed me for the last time..."

For those of you who seem to think it's appropriate to ride unicycles while wearing large heavy back packs on busy four lane streets on the precipice of winter... please continue to do so. I would also recommend pogo-sticks, or stilts and by all means wear the darkest clothes you have. I'm constantly amazed by how many of our kind have actually made it to adulthood. Stupid warning labels.

Say what you will, I think "Bring your cat to work day" would be awesomely hilarious.

Christmas lights on November 8th. Really?? It's bad enough you can't watch tv for more than two minutes without being bombarded with bloody seasonal advertisements. People however who start decorating while there's still 23 days until December while it's 15 C outside and no snow to be seen need to get their heads checked. Granted, I'm not Captain Christmas... if it were up to me I'd ban anything having remotely to do with it until 11:59pm on December 24th... but I think there's just something mentally unbalanced about celebrating a holiday, any holiday, for two months.

As my brother facetiously put it this evening, "What is a Mozart?" Well, this afternoon I was listening to Mozart's Requiem Mass (as opposed to the Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan soundtrack that I usually listen to at 2pm on a Tuesday) when a co-worker came into my IT office and asked if I was getting into Halloween early. I had no idea what he was referring to until he clarified by pointing out my music. Really... how the hell does Mozart qualify as Halloween music? I realize the Requiem Mass isn't exactly cheery and uplifting, but even if you've never heard it before I hardly think it conjures up images of ghouls, goblins and various other traditional Halloween monsters... or for that matter, non-traditional monsters like the Care Bears, and Hayden Christensen. I think I was listening to a version performed by the London Symphony Orchestra, and last I checked they weren't known for there use of the theremin... so it's not like I was listening to som...

I'm half tempted to buy a iPhone 4S with Siri speech recognition... I'd be guaranteed in having at least one intelligent conversation during the day.

Personally I feel that some people were over-reacting to the Blackberry outage. I can understand it's implications in the world of business, and I really think RIM should make more of an effort in the future to have a fail over, for their fail over, not to mention making an effort to reimburse people in some way for the inconvenience. From my personal perspective, it really didn't bother me. Yes, I had to check my email the old fashion way but I didn't find it all that inconvenient. Of course I still listen to 8-tracks, so maybe my view is a little slanted, but I think we've all become a little too attached to our devices. I remember a time before smart phones and the internet rather vividly and with a fair bit of nostalgia. I LIKED posting a letter that I'd hand written and waiting with anticipation over the next few weeks for a response. I LIKED not having to respond to everything immediately. I'm not saying I want to go back to that completely, but I ...

Is it just me or are there just too many choices at the grocery store nowadays? I was shopping just this past weekend and it occurred to me that I'd spent five minutes trying to pick out a single carton of orange juice. When I was a kid (way back in 1872), there were two choices: Extra Pulpy (you didn't drink it, you ate it with a fork), and less pulpy (it could at a stretch be characterized generally speaking as a liquid). I've never like pulp, but I like staring blankly at an aisle of cartons for five minutes less. I like to be decisive which is rather difficult when there is a 10 foot stretch of freezer dedicated to about a dozen variations of one product from several different producers. And don't get me started on peanut butter. I can't help being decisive (or at least trying). Taking more than 10 seconds to pick a happy meal at McDonald's when I was ten would usually solicit the following from my dad (patience isn't in the role call of his quali...

Wow. So Steve Jobs has passed away. Bit of a shock but not entirely unexpected. It will be very interesting to see what will happen with Apple over the coming months. Steve ruled Apple with an iron fist... he knew what he wanted and gave the company a very clear direction. Like him or hate him, he turned a floundering company in the late 90's into a paradigm changing industry leader. With Steve at the helm, it created the smart phone industry (well, there were others on the market first, namely Blackberry, but Apple gave them to the masses.) The question remains however whether Apple will be able to continue to remain a lead innovator in the industry. The identity of Apple and Steve Jobs are so closely tied together, it's hard to imagine the company continuing it's dominance without him... like North Korea without the Dear Leader. I suspect with someone like Steve Jobs, he's probably made extensive plans for the company's future. Or had his head put into a gia...

Irn Bru will help you thru.

You're not jamming loud enough if you can still hear everyone else by the end of the session. It's been half an hour since we stopped and I still can't hear anything. Awesome.

You know you're going nowhere fast when you're stuck behind a car with the license plate "CRUZSLO". Wheeee.

I do not understand Glee, nor its appeal to the public. That said, I have a great idea for a new movie: Glee vs. Predator. Ok - I understand that predators generally don't go massacring stupid unarmed singing teenagers, but lets say this predator just got royally reamed out by his boss and needs to blow off some steam. Get to the chopper!

When Obi-Wan Kenobi said: "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened." he was actually sensing the millions of Star Wars fans as George Lucas continues his rampage of destruction through the original trilogy. Just when I thought he couldn't possibly ruin anything else, he finds yet another scene to %#@* with. At this rate the next re-installment of Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back will feature talking taun-tauns and a lovable care bear like wampa who invites Luke Skywalker in from the cold for a "hoth" chocolate. Please let it stop.