Xorton's Rant

Now having been forced to watch "Frozen" for the millionth time (I have to credit Disney, it's like crack for toddlers), it has become incredibly clear that the real hero of Arendelle is not Queen Elsa or Princess Anna, but the slighted antagonist, Prince Hans of the Seven Isles. For those of you who have not had the dubious honour of watching "Frozen", I'll recap the basic plot. Elsa, the heir to the throne of Arendelle is born with the magical ability to create ice and snow (and apparently, textiles). As a child, she accidentally blasts her sister Anna with frost while playing. While Anna is essentially unharmed (her parents first instinct is to rush her to a bunch of strange trolls (rather than the palace physician). Her parents decide to shut the children in and hide them away from the rest of the world (always a good idea when you have a child with special challenges). Years later, the parents drown in a freak boating accident, and Elsa becomes Qu...

As anyone with a young child knows, talking with toddlers can be (and usually is) and endless source of amusement. They have a very unique view of the universe. Now that Iona has started really developing the art of conversation, I find myself taking note of some of the more outstanding examples. The following are compiled from the last few months: On Star Wars: We recently watched the original trilogy in full. Perhaps I should be concerned that she shouts "Yay!" every time Darth Vader enters the scene, or that when she see's stormtroopers, she shouts "Pew! Pew!". In any event, she clearly enjoyed the movies. Me: Iona, what was your favourite part of Return of the Jedi? Iona: The Emperor! Bwahahahaa. Me: Did you like the Ewoks? Iona: More Taun-Tauns! Me: Yes, Jedi definitely suffered from a lack of Taun-Tauns. On another Star Wars related note, Iona is not scared of Wampas or Rancors in the slightest. Large auditoriums with strange people fre...