Xorton's Rant

Canada has banned the import of Irn-Bru as the wise government agency that decides these matters felt that some of the food dye used in Scotland's other national drink may cause hyper activity in children. Millions of British children over the last century have enjoyed Irn-Bru with no ill effects... so it of course makes perfect sense to ban a product that apparently poses a significant health risk. Not that any of the below items/products that are perfectly legal in Canada, pose any sort of health risk to the public at all: Maple Syrup Hockey (if you've spoken to any former players of the game that have suffered multiple concussions, you'll know what I mean).   Shotguns Tim Hortons A refusal on the part of the Health Care program to provide antibiotics for those suffering from Lyme disease For the better part of 20 years, helicopters that routinely fell out of the sky Toronto Justin Bieber* Get your priorities straight. Time to bring in the New Order. Ir...

While I generally try to have a few non-IT related rants posted in between the IT rants, the last week has simply been far too epic and trying on my nerves not to carrying on my rant from last week. In the past week, I've heard all of the below from users: 1. What's a file path? 2. You can get viruses from YouTube?! 3. What's "Windows Explorer"? 4. Why is it bad to put your password on a sticky note on your monitor? 5. I know I don't have network connectivity! But why can't I still send my email? 6. What's a forward slash? 7. Ok, I understand my hard drive is dead. But why can't you get my files off it? 8. What's an asset tag? And my absolute favourite which I thought I'd only ever hear the likes of on the IT Crowd : 9. My button for the internet is missing! Giving a dumb user a computer is like giving a monkey with a thermonuclear device a large hammer. It's not a matter of "if" something will go horribly and disa...

If you recognize yourself as having done or said any number of the points below, then you're probably what I refer to as a "Dumb" user. If you do, while this is not necessarily an indication of idiocy, it is however an indication of ignorance. It's the 21st century people... it's time to step up your game! I'm not saying that you need to become an expert, but you can no longer afford to remain in blissful ignorance of basic technological skills if you want to remain competitive in the work place, or for that matter, employed. Of course, if you'd rather eke out some sort of existence in the woods, fighting squirrels and chipmunks for your dinner of nuts, and slowly descending in barbarity, please by all means, be my guest. You turn off your computer every evening by pushing and holding down the power button, because selecting "Shutdown" from the "Start" button takes too long.  When asked by IT which operating system you're using...

A wampa The Xorton weather service is issuing a wampa warning in effect for portions of Southern Ontario this morning. With hoth-like temperatures of -25C and wind chills making it feel like -40C, you can expect to see an increase in wampa activity. While wampas enjoy feasting on their traditional taun-taun prey, they have been know to attack humans. So, while you're out this morning trying to adapt your speeder to the cold, keep a sharp eye out for wampas lumbering across the frozen landscape in search of prey, and be sure to refrain from making taun-taun imitation calls. The view outside my house this morning