Xorton's Rant

You've not been fully indoctrinated as a parent until you've been properly baptized in a shower of pee, snot and puke. I've been peed on, and found boogers on my collar, but recently my daughter saw to the latter. It was amazing how time slowed to a crawl as I watched a near perfect cylindrical jet of milk, glistening in a stray sunbeam as it magically arched up through the dust particles hung like snowflakes in the air. Gracefully it descended to just above my chest (and this is where the normal pace of time re-asserted itself) and upon impact with me, exploded in a violent slurry. I'd would never have imagined that such a small person would have the sheer capacity to store such a large amount of liquid. To add insult to injury, she made a little smirk, and I half expected her head to spin a full 360 degrees. I suspect that her sense of humour for the next few months will be chiefly based on my misfortunes. Below is a recent snapshot of my daughter, and fur d...