Xorton's Rant

I realize it's a little early for a Christmas post, but lately I've noticed that the Christmas idiots have started getting nostalgic and have started putting out decorations and humming Christmas tunes mindlessly. So, why not get a head start of some Christmas ranting!? Over the years, and in particular this past year, I have noticed an increasing amount of people becoming brutally stressed out due to Christmas related obligations and even continuing to exhibit signs of post-traumatic holiday syndrome (PTHS) long after the holidays are over. Holiday Fact: Would it surprise you to know that over 98% of people* feel as though they are obligated to be actively involved with festivities during the holiday season? The unfortunate fact of the matter is that many of us feel as though we have  no choice other than to participate in gift giving, pot-lucks, family get-togethers and various other holiday activities, even when it has pushed us to the point of a nervous breakdown or m...

At Iona's age, it's pretty easy for me to be sarcastic to her... mostly because I can say things with impunity and secondly (and most importantly) there are no repercussions. In a couple of more years I'll probably be guaranteed a slap across the chops for any of my cheekier comments (Iona doesn't put up with crap... at least when she understands what is being said). In the meantime, here are some highlights I've enjoyed telling her: On where she came from :  We got you from the baby shop. I went in and asked for the smartest, cutest, happiest baby they had. Unfortunately they were all out of those, so we got you instead. You can also purchase cheap babies from the grocery store. You know that aisle with all the packages with babies on them? You just buy one of them, take it home and add water. Then you get a baby, just like the picture on the package. Most of them are pretty ugly though... and defective. Quick lesson here: you can't buy quality merch...