Xorton's Rant

Released : March 2001 Publisher : Nintendo Developer : Rare Platform : Nintendo 64 Type : Action-Adventure Graphics : Narly Game Play : Narly Originality : Narly How many hours I’ve wasted : Blank-eyed soulless stare The Nostalgia Factor : Narly Any game featuring a cartoon squirrel with a pint on the game cover and starts off with the theme music for A Clockwork Orange requires further investigation. I first encountered Conker's Bad Fur Day   at a friends house. He'd rented the game from a local video store (there's a dated term) on the basis of the afore mentioned squirrel on the game cover. After playing all evening, (and feeling slightly shell-shocked) I promptly ran out and bought a copy. Conker's Bad Fur Day, is one of the most demented, violent and hilarious games I've ever played (easily trumping Sierra's Space Quest and Leisure Suit Larry series). Don't let the Nintendo label fool you... this game was designed for a purely a...

I'm sure it comes as no surprise... I hate the Olympics. I've always hated the Olympics and with each passing year I usually end up with at least one more reason to dislike them. I was introduced to the whole thing back in grade four. One of our classmates was selected to run with the torch, so the school made a big to do about it. At the time I thought it was pretty cool that one of my friends got to run with a big flaming stick, although I really didn't understand the big fuss over the Olympics itself. We had to talk about it every day in the "Current Events" portion of class, which always seemed to be dominated by sporting events at any rate. Naturally I never contributed anything as far as sports were concerned, and even on days where it was my turn to bring in an article to talk about, it never got around to my turn as the discussion about how the "Leaf's" were playing always seemed to take up the whole session. The teacher thought I was p...

Decorating is always a challenge, particularly for people you haven't met, and even more challenging for those who in addition to not having met, have yet to develop a sense of style or the ability to communicate it. Of course, that could be said of a lot of people, but in this instance I'm referring to unborn babies. I've recently completed painting my yet to arrive daughters room. I had to fight the urge to paint the whole thing black. Black is such a versatile non-colour. It goes with everything, you only need one coat of paint for it, it's gender neutral, and it doesn't matter when your toddler writes all over it (particularly if you confiscate all the white and lighter coloured crayons). Of course, that would pretty much fulfill the ingredients for guaranteeing that you end up with one of those damned imo kids at some point. On that note, we decided to paint the room two colours... a very light blue and a very light yellow. At first the yellow didn...