Xorton's Rant

I recently completed my annual July Christmas shopping and a friend noticed the large amount of shopping bags coming out of my car. He casually inquired what it was all for and when I remarked, it was for Christmas, he looked rather puzzled and asked "why now?" Why now indeed? Let's face it, Christmas shopping is an incredible pain in the ass at the best of times... unless you do it in July like the smart, organized people. Let's look at the many benefits of completing the task, six months ahead of schedule. 1. Shopping in shorts, sandals and a t-shirt is a hell of a lot easier than shopping in several layers of clothes, heavy boots, scarves, woolly hat, and heavy fur lined coat. Sure, just like wearing all that crazy winter survival getup, you may get a little warm and uncomfortable lugging all those bags around, but the difference is that I can buy a cool drink, sit out in the shade and relax outside. Relaxing and taking off all that gear just isn't possi...

Microsoft quietly discontinued extended support for Windows Vista on April 11 of this year. So, what exactly does that mean? It means that (if you're still using it and haven't upgraded) your Windows Vista operating system will no longer receive critical updates, and patches of any kind including security. It also means that if you were running the Microsoft Security Essentials anti-virus, that has also become unsupported on the Vista platform. Incidentally, if you were also running the Google Chrome browser, that too will no longer receive updates. So, (many of you might still be asking), what the hell does that mean? Essentially it means that with the rise of crypto viruses that have been making their rounds on the internet, your system will now be an easier target for obliteration than an exhausted, geriatric blue whale, that's over eaten and had the misfortune of beaching itself on Omaha beach just as things got interesting on June 6, 1944... you Luddites. W...

Once again, I've compiled a list of some free software I've recently come across that I'd like to share with you all. Some of it is just for plain fun, others, you may just find a little useful: Nerdy Computer Stuff (isn't it all?) Commodore Vice Emulator If you're into the whole retro computer thing, VICE is just the thing for you. VICE allows you to run an emulation of the old Commodore computers (such as the VIC-20 and the Commodore 64) on your modern Windows, Mac or Linux computer without having to go to the trouble of acquiring 40 year old hardware. There's a ton of cartridge and tape game ROM files available on the internet for your retro gaming entertainment. Neverware Cloudready Cloudready is a version of the Google Chrome OS that is available for download and installation on your own hardware. Those of you that are familiar with the Chrome OS are probably aware that it only runs on devices that are sold with it pre-installed. Cloudre...

Now having been forced to watch "Frozen" for the millionth time (I have to credit Disney, it's like crack for toddlers), it has become incredibly clear that the real hero of Arendelle is not Queen Elsa or Princess Anna, but the slighted antagonist, Prince Hans of the Seven Isles. For those of you who have not had the dubious honour of watching "Frozen", I'll recap the basic plot. Elsa, the heir to the throne of Arendelle is born with the magical ability to create ice and snow (and apparently, textiles). As a child, she accidentally blasts her sister Anna with frost while playing. While Anna is essentially unharmed (her parents first instinct is to rush her to a bunch of strange trolls (rather than the palace physician). Her parents decide to shut the children in and hide them away from the rest of the world (always a good idea when you have a child with special challenges). Years later, the parents drown in a freak boating accident, and Elsa becomes Qu...

As anyone with a young child knows, talking with toddlers can be (and usually is) and endless source of amusement. They have a very unique view of the universe. Now that Iona has started really developing the art of conversation, I find myself taking note of some of the more outstanding examples. The following are compiled from the last few months: On Star Wars: We recently watched the original trilogy in full. Perhaps I should be concerned that she shouts "Yay!" every time Darth Vader enters the scene, or that when she see's stormtroopers, she shouts "Pew! Pew!". In any event, she clearly enjoyed the movies. Me: Iona, what was your favourite part of Return of the Jedi? Iona: The Emperor! Bwahahahaa. Me: Did you like the Ewoks? Iona: More Taun-Tauns! Me: Yes, Jedi definitely suffered from a lack of Taun-Tauns. On another Star Wars related note, Iona is not scared of Wampas or Rancors in the slightest. Large auditoriums with strange people fre...

And it's that time of year when children begin reminding you that Christmas is just around the corner. I've come to believe that children must have some sort of internal clock that is specifically wired to begin reminding you when it's less than one hundred days until Christmas. It's the only thing Iona seems to have a sense of time about and it's damn peculiar being that toddlers have no sense of time whatsoever. She says things like: "When I was older..." "It 9:30 o'clock" (at lunch) "No, it Saturday!"(on Wednesday) "It getty-uppy time!" (at 4:00 in the morning) "The sun is on!" (when there's barely a sliver of light on the horizon) "When is it today time?" "We visted grandma on that lasterday." Iona has been asking for Christmas music and Christmas television specials to be played fairly consistently (meaning every morning) and she's also been arguing with me about p...