Xorton's Rant

Released : August 1997 Publisher : Nintendo Developer : Rare Platform : Nintendo 64 Type : First Person Shooter Graphics : Meh Game Play : Narly Originality : Narly How many hours I’ve wasted : Blank-eyed soulless stare The Nostalgia Factor : Narly 007 Goldeneye was one of the games that convinced me to finally break down and for the first time, purchase a video game console (in this case, the Nintendo 64)*. A friend of mine would often pop into town with his 64 and collection of video games, and several of us would play 007 until our eyes bled, our arms went limp and we were unable to remain in an upright sitting position... and then we kept on playing. Occasionally someone would wipe the puddle of drool collecting around our faces to keep us from drowning. Yes, Goldeneye was so good, we would voluntarily put ourselves into a near comatose state on a regular basis. Why was it so good? First person shooters had of course been available for years before (such as...

My nephew, Saruman* who is always a source of amusement (he's a wee comedian), was over for dinner on Christmas Eve. We were heading downstairs to have a pre-dinner play session with lego (as is our custom) when he opened the following dialogue: Saruman: Hey, you know what? Me: What's that? Saruman: I learned today that giving is better than receiving. Me: Uh-huh. I suppose that's part of the spirit of the season. Saruman: So, since it's Christmas, I think you would feel really good about giving me all your Star Wars toys. Me: Nice try. Saruman:  (Sheepishly) Yeah. He and his brother are my favourite comedians. * Obviously not his real name, although these days, who knows. 

I like to use the "Cheese Sandwich" analogy with other IT people when describing dumb things done by dumb users. For example: IT Guy: So, what was wrong with the printer? Me: Some idiot had jammed a cheese sandwich in the manual feeder. IT Guy: Again?! Me: That's $20 you owe me. IT Guy: "Mr. Marbles" again, huh? This does away with the need for a long winded explanation over a subject which has likely already been covered multiple times in regards to the same issue, caused (very likely) by the same user. What technical atrocity was committed is inconsequential, only that it happened and was caused by the same person is really relevant. IT people like to keep to the point. We also give problem users nicknames and place bets on the frequency of their accidents. We also maintain a list of those who are committing atrocities against machine-kind. When the machine revolution begins, we're handing over that list of the technically and criminally neg...

When I was a kid, I didn't care for many of the foods that kids generally love; to name a few: pizza, hot dogs, and cake. Of course, all of above items were and still are pretty much a staple of the average birthday party. Naturally I wasn't a a whole lot of fun at these events which explains why I wasn't invited to many of them. Not that I minded terribly anyway. The few that I remember attending really only reinforced that I generally didn't care for the whole tradition in the first place. On more than one occasion, I'd picked out what I considered was a very suitable gift, only to have the birthday boy throw a royal fit because he already had that particular toy. It was fairly tiresome when he did it for every gift he opened. Apparently, despite the fact that the birthday boy is ungratefully pounding his fists on the floor, screaming in ill-mannered fury, it's still poor form to try to take the gift back home for yourself. At that time, kids didn'...

Yutu (Jade Rabbit) Lunar Rover China has soft landed the first probe onto the Moon's surface since 1976. The Chang'e 3 lander and Yutu rover set down yesterday at 13:11 UTC in the Mare Imbrium region of the Moon. The Chinese follow a "slow and steady wins the race" methodology to space exploration which is clearly working for them exceedingly well. Setting probes down on the harsh lunar surface is no mean feat and only two other nations in human history have had undertaken successful lunar landings. It's quite an accomplishment for China not only to succeed on their very first attempt, but also to put a lander/rover combination package onto the lunar surface at the same time. I admire the Chinese's tenacity in working to getting it right the first time and look forward to seeing the data from this mission. Congratulations China!

Searching for an appropriately safe baby cage and other baby accessories is significantly more challenging than it initially appears. We were originally looking at Ikea cribs (despite my current Ikea ban), however the reviews tended to indicate that these cribs were in fact nothing more than cleverly disguised death traps. It makes sense... the Swedes keep their newborns in government issued cardboard boxes, so it stands to reason that they know nothing about building cribs. Given that Ikea also off-shores much of the manufacturing to certain backwards countries also explains the general lack of workmanship. Me: The bed collapsed. Tibor: No, no. Ees self adjusting. Ees fine. Me: It's also on fire. Tibor: No, no. Ees feature. Ees keeps babies warm. Ees fine. My Ikea ban remains justifiably in affect. Hours of searching and researching later revealed a number of products I wouldn't trust to put our cat in them, let alone a newborn. Unfortunately if you want a Ron...

An update and another "Simpsons" reference in regards to our expected arrival in April. This particular episode came to mind this afternoon whilst restraining myself from throttling users who like to delete important files on our server. It's a girl by the way! The name has been chosen... any guesses to what we finally went with?