...And here's the long awaited final chapter of our holiday saga.
It's been a great deal more difficult writing about this last portion of our trip as much of it was spent racing around in a car... or drunk... or lying on the floor moaning after overeating too much great food.
Loch Lomond
Beautiful, crisp and clean... except for the odd plastic bag drifting along its banks. There's plenty to do around scenic Loch Lomond, although we didn't stop long as we were trying to push as far north in one day as we possibly could.
Glen Coe
Driving up and into Glen Coe is a breathtaking experience. The scenery is simply overwhelming and at times rather ominous. Glen Coe is of course best known for the brutal massacre that took place there in 1692. A good lesson for everyone: never be late, particularly when swearing your loyalty to new monarchs.
Fort William
Looked like a lovely place as we dashed through it in the car. Unfortunately, it was raining rather a lot when we arrived and it was getting late in the day.... we stopped just long enough to take a picture of Ben Nevis (the tallest mountain in the UK).
The Ayrshire Coast and Robert Burns' country
I've been through scenic Ayrshire each time I've returned to Scotland and I never get tired of the experience. Ayrshire is of course Robert Burns' country (Scotland's greatest poet), and here you can visit the various places he was born and is suspected of being buried in.
On this expedition, we only drove up the Ayrshire coast to Dunure Castle and the Electric Brae. Dunure castle isn't very important or notable with the exception that it's along a very scenic part of the Scottish west coast and has the added attraction that you can climb all over its ruins. You can also see Ailsa Craig from this vantage point.
The small dome shaped building in the picture is in fact a granary, although more recently it appears to have been used by the locals as a facility for dumping their used cans of Tennents lager.
Just a short drive up the road is the Electric Brae, which is one of those unusual locations where the surrounding scenery makes it look like your rolling up a hill, when you're actually rolling down one. Pull off the road and throw your car in neutral and watch as... nothing happens. It doesn't always work, although I have experienced this remarkable weirdness in the past. I blame the automatic transmission on this visit.
New Lanark
There are a lot of places in Great Britain that are called "new", but don't let that fool you... it's just a scam to bring in tourists looking to escape from all the history and find a shopping centre... when in fact, it's just another bunch of really old buildings and quaint gift shops.
My grandmother remarked on one occasion that they should pull all this old stuff down and build a few malls. Her two favourite places on Earth were Blackpool and Niagara Falls... the old dear had some interesting theories.
Anyway, New Lanark is a preserved historic mill, and also birthplace of the modern cooperative movement.
Now, before I met someone who worked for a cooperative movement, that didn't mean a whole lot to me. Now I know that a cooperative is (in part) a company that doesn't believe in beating their employees, enforcing long hours, having terrible labour practices, and making children work before the age of three as footstools or in less savory occupations. The basic formula was that everyone should contribute and share in the success of the organization with equality and education being central foundations of the philosophy. In 18th century Britain, this was a pretty wild and crazy idea... the unfortunate thing is, this is still a revolutionary concept throughout most of the world today.
In New Lanark, you can also walk along the Clyde Trail up to the Falls of Clyde. It's a lovely walk, even if there aren't any tacky gift shops along the way.
With the exception of some very cheesy audio/visual "attractions", it's well worth visiting for the scenery. A little education wouldn't hurt you either.
Glasgow
The Gallery of Modern Art
Here you can see an upturned umbrella placed on the floor presumably by a cheeky Glaswegian and watch beret wearing, posh twats "ooh and ahh" over how unconventional and profound it is.
I can paint a bunch of old cell phones and hit them with a hammer too... and to think I threw out the old inkjet printer that crossed me far too many times and met it's end with my boot when someone could be appreciating it as "art".
Unless you're one of the above mentioned beret wearing posh twats, you can probably skip this. Otherwise it's barely worth about five minutes of your time (it wouldn't be if it wasn't free entry) for a quick point and laugh...
Not to be missed however, is a statue of the Duke of Wellington outside the Modern Art Gallery, sporting traffic safety apparel. The statue of the Duke of Wellington (or the statue of the guy with the cone on his head as he is known locally) has had a traffic cone on his head probably for as long as traffic cones have been available. Here is a rare picture with the Duke sporting a safety vest, rather than a traffic cone.
The Transport Museum
In a new location, the museum is filled with old cars, trains, trams, buses, motorbikes, a 19th century tall ship, and strangely, an exhibit of late 20th century Star Wars toys. The 7 year old little child in you will love it. If you don't have a 7 year old little child in you, you should probably spend some time reflecting why you're absolutely no fun at all.
Glasgow Cathedral and the Necropolis
A great place to find lots of dead people. The cathedral isn't much different from any of the other cathedrals I've visited... lots of assorted Jesus paraphernalia and crypts. The Necropolis is an impressive collection of monuments and tombs in the centre of the city. Very creepy, very interesting, and as per an observation of Billy Connolly, there's an memorial which from certain angles, look like a memorial to a guy diddling himself.
Final Days
On our last evening in Scotland, we had dinner at The Swan in Eaglesham where I had a fish supper (of course). And it just happened to be the best fish supper I've ever had... a 9.7 rating on my XFS.
We also made a final trip to the local Sainsbury's to stock up on supplies. I spent over twenty quid on sweets. Of course, my supplies have long since given out.
I will miss my fruit gums, Irn-bru, Tennents lager and Milkybars, but most of all, the fish suppers. Various North Americans over the years have directed me to "the best fish n' chips ever" and invariably I've been disappointed. I apologize in advance, but North Americans (with the possible exclusion of the Canadian Maritimes) just can't tell the difference between a decent fish supper and a tin of fish by-products my cat would turn her nose up at.
In Closing
We both had a lot of fun over in the UK, but of course, travel isn't always about what you visit, but about the people you spend the time with and the people* you meet along the way. At this point we'd like to extend an special thank-you to all our family and friends in the UK for extending the welcome mat as usual and making our holiday a very memorable one. Our door and beer closet is always open to you.
I will close with an appropriate quote as related from the very wise Billy Connolly whose travel advice I've since included in my own criteria:
"Never bring an idiot with you when you travel... you can always pick one up when you arrive."
*Sadly I must report that one of our new friends passed away not long after we returned from holiday. He made every attempt to accommodate, entertain and make us feel at home during our brief acquaintance. Buttons the cat, we will miss you!
It's been a great deal more difficult writing about this last portion of our trip as much of it was spent racing around in a car... or drunk... or lying on the floor moaning after overeating too much great food.
Loch Lomond
Beautiful, crisp and clean... except for the odd plastic bag drifting along its banks. There's plenty to do around scenic Loch Lomond, although we didn't stop long as we were trying to push as far north in one day as we possibly could.
 |
| Spoiling a great vista: Visitors please pick up your rubbish! |
Driving up and into Glen Coe is a breathtaking experience. The scenery is simply overwhelming and at times rather ominous. Glen Coe is of course best known for the brutal massacre that took place there in 1692. A good lesson for everyone: never be late, particularly when swearing your loyalty to new monarchs.
 |
| What you don't see is here in this otherwise lovely picture is the large pile of dirty nappies I've cropped out of the photo. Again, visitors, pick up your rubbish! |
 |
| This would have been a great location for scenes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I can just hear Gollum whispering: "My precious...." |
 |
| Another nice shot as we were leaving Glen Coe |
Looked like a lovely place as we dashed through it in the car. Unfortunately, it was raining rather a lot when we arrived and it was getting late in the day.... we stopped just long enough to take a picture of Ben Nevis (the tallest mountain in the UK).
 |
| Ben Nevis... obscured by clouds...typical |
I've been through scenic Ayrshire each time I've returned to Scotland and I never get tired of the experience. Ayrshire is of course Robert Burns' country (Scotland's greatest poet), and here you can visit the various places he was born and is suspected of being buried in.
On this expedition, we only drove up the Ayrshire coast to Dunure Castle and the Electric Brae. Dunure castle isn't very important or notable with the exception that it's along a very scenic part of the Scottish west coast and has the added attraction that you can climb all over its ruins. You can also see Ailsa Craig from this vantage point.
 |
| A very Scottish image: Dunure Castle, some thistles and Ailsa Craig |
The small dome shaped building in the picture is in fact a granary, although more recently it appears to have been used by the locals as a facility for dumping their used cans of Tennents lager.Just a short drive up the road is the Electric Brae, which is one of those unusual locations where the surrounding scenery makes it look like your rolling up a hill, when you're actually rolling down one. Pull off the road and throw your car in neutral and watch as... nothing happens. It doesn't always work, although I have experienced this remarkable weirdness in the past. I blame the automatic transmission on this visit.
New Lanark
There are a lot of places in Great Britain that are called "new", but don't let that fool you... it's just a scam to bring in tourists looking to escape from all the history and find a shopping centre... when in fact, it's just another bunch of really old buildings and quaint gift shops.
My grandmother remarked on one occasion that they should pull all this old stuff down and build a few malls. Her two favourite places on Earth were Blackpool and Niagara Falls... the old dear had some interesting theories.
Anyway, New Lanark is a preserved historic mill, and also birthplace of the modern cooperative movement.
 |
| The Falls of Clyde |
In New Lanark, you can also walk along the Clyde Trail up to the Falls of Clyde. It's a lovely walk, even if there aren't any tacky gift shops along the way.
With the exception of some very cheesy audio/visual "attractions", it's well worth visiting for the scenery. A little education wouldn't hurt you either.
Glasgow
The Gallery of Modern Art
Here you can see an upturned umbrella placed on the floor presumably by a cheeky Glaswegian and watch beret wearing, posh twats "ooh and ahh" over how unconventional and profound it is.
 |
| Where's his cone? |
Unless you're one of the above mentioned beret wearing posh twats, you can probably skip this. Otherwise it's barely worth about five minutes of your time (it wouldn't be if it wasn't free entry) for a quick point and laugh...
Not to be missed however, is a statue of the Duke of Wellington outside the Modern Art Gallery, sporting traffic safety apparel. The statue of the Duke of Wellington (or the statue of the guy with the cone on his head as he is known locally) has had a traffic cone on his head probably for as long as traffic cones have been available. Here is a rare picture with the Duke sporting a safety vest, rather than a traffic cone.
The Transport Museum
In a new location, the museum is filled with old cars, trains, trams, buses, motorbikes, a 19th century tall ship, and strangely, an exhibit of late 20th century Star Wars toys. The 7 year old little child in you will love it. If you don't have a 7 year old little child in you, you should probably spend some time reflecting why you're absolutely no fun at all.
Glasgow Cathedral and the NecropolisA great place to find lots of dead people. The cathedral isn't much different from any of the other cathedrals I've visited... lots of assorted Jesus paraphernalia and crypts. The Necropolis is an impressive collection of monuments and tombs in the centre of the city. Very creepy, very interesting, and as per an observation of Billy Connolly, there's an memorial which from certain angles, look like a memorial to a guy diddling himself.
Final Days
On our last evening in Scotland, we had dinner at The Swan in Eaglesham where I had a fish supper (of course). And it just happened to be the best fish supper I've ever had... a 9.7 rating on my XFS.
We also made a final trip to the local Sainsbury's to stock up on supplies. I spent over twenty quid on sweets. Of course, my supplies have long since given out.
I will miss my fruit gums, Irn-bru, Tennents lager and Milkybars, but most of all, the fish suppers. Various North Americans over the years have directed me to "the best fish n' chips ever" and invariably I've been disappointed. I apologize in advance, but North Americans (with the possible exclusion of the Canadian Maritimes) just can't tell the difference between a decent fish supper and a tin of fish by-products my cat would turn her nose up at.
In Closing
We both had a lot of fun over in the UK, but of course, travel isn't always about what you visit, but about the people you spend the time with and the people* you meet along the way. At this point we'd like to extend an special thank-you to all our family and friends in the UK for extending the welcome mat as usual and making our holiday a very memorable one. Our door and beer closet is always open to you.
I will close with an appropriate quote as related from the very wise Billy Connolly whose travel advice I've since included in my own criteria:
"Never bring an idiot with you when you travel... you can always pick one up when you arrive."
*Sadly I must report that one of our new friends passed away not long after we returned from holiday. He made every attempt to accommodate, entertain and make us feel at home during our brief acquaintance. Buttons the cat, we will miss you!
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