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Jingle Bells

And it's that time of year when children begin reminding you that Christmas is just around the corner.

I've come to believe that children must have some sort of internal clock that is specifically wired to begin reminding you when it's less than one hundred days until Christmas.

It's the only thing Iona seems to have a sense of time about and it's damn peculiar being that toddlers have no sense of time whatsoever.

She says things like:

"When I was older..."
"It 9:30 o'clock" (at lunch)
"No, it Saturday!"(on Wednesday)
"It getty-uppy time!" (at 4:00 in the morning)
"The sun is on!" (when there's barely a sliver of light on the horizon)
"When is it today time?"
"We visted grandma on that lasterday."

Iona has been asking for Christmas music and Christmas television specials to be played fairly consistently (meaning every morning) and she's also been arguing with me about putting up the tree and decorations. Suggestions that a evil Wompa lives in the storage room doesn't seem to dissuade her from wanting to rummage through the decoration boxes.

She's also been singing her own version of "Jingle Bells". It's great:

'Jingle Bells
What the hell
Riding on a sleigh

What the hell is going on?
It jingle all the way!

I'm not quite sure where she picked that one up, but being that it's imaginative and an improvement on the original, I find it hard to correct her.

It's also damned funny.

Unlike most people I completed the majority my child's Christmas shopping in August. The real joy of this is that I can avoid talking to people for the most part through the "shopping season" and avoid any Christmas rage incidents.

One drawback, which is only now becoming apparent, is that when I asked Iona what she'd like Santa to bring her way back in June, the answer was simply: "presents!". This morning her answer was "Shopkins!!"

Crap.

I'm dimly aware that something called "Shopkins" exist and that they're incredibly annoying.

Too bad Santa doesn't currently have a license to manufacturer them and that's the line we'll be sticking to.






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