I don't think anyone has undertaken such a thing, but I would be interested to see the results of a study on how many IT professionals suffer from serious depression, unresolved anger issues, suicidal tendencies or a general desire to liquidate the majority of the human race.
In my many years in IT, one of my chief complaints is that a large minority of the users I have supported (that frequently take up the majority of my time) have absolutely no idea of the extreme toll that the dumb things they do (often repeated with alarming regularity despite our best efforts to train them otherwise) take on the poor overworked IT staff that try their best to support them. The worst offenders are a small (but vocal) few that are well aware of the pains they cause us, but are happy to make it known that they don't care.
I'm sure many people in the IT industry feel the same frustration.
Of course, come the New Order, such people will likely be marched off to special "resource re-allocation facilities"* while being replaced by monkeys dressed in a variety of cute and funny costumes. Why monkeys you ask?
The following cartoon is based loosely on real events:
* A "resource re-allocation facility" is in fact a giant blender. The re-processed "resources" are re-packaged as "Purina Special Edition Pet Chow" and fed to poor little homeless kitties and puppies.
** I used to work at a company where finding human waste in various locations throughout the building (other than the bathroom) was a regular occurrence. The conditions of the bathrooms roughly resembled what I imagine a confined space would look like after an incontinent elephant had visited them. The sad part is, I'm not exaggerating.
In my many years in IT, one of my chief complaints is that a large minority of the users I have supported (that frequently take up the majority of my time) have absolutely no idea of the extreme toll that the dumb things they do (often repeated with alarming regularity despite our best efforts to train them otherwise) take on the poor overworked IT staff that try their best to support them. The worst offenders are a small (but vocal) few that are well aware of the pains they cause us, but are happy to make it known that they don't care.
I'm sure many people in the IT industry feel the same frustration.
Of course, come the New Order, such people will likely be marched off to special "resource re-allocation facilities"* while being replaced by monkeys dressed in a variety of cute and funny costumes. Why monkeys you ask?
- Monkeys accomplish more with the resources they are given.
- Monkeys are easier to train and can follow simple directions.
- Monkeys are generally more attractive than the average stupid user.
- Monkeys police themselves by throwing rocks at the stupid monkeys until they either die, or go away, thus constantly improving the gene pool.
- Moneys can be paid in bananas.
- If a monkey does something stupid, you can shake your fist at him and call him "stupid" without having to deal with a human resources complaint.
- Monkeys leave less crap on the floor.**
The following cartoon is based loosely on real events:
** I used to work at a company where finding human waste in various locations throughout the building (other than the bathroom) was a regular occurrence. The conditions of the bathrooms roughly resembled what I imagine a confined space would look like after an incontinent elephant had visited them. The sad part is, I'm not exaggerating.
For additional fodder to the special "resource re-allocation facilities", see http://notalwaysright.com/
ReplyDelete* also sold as 'Soylent Green'
** sounds like a place the peace offerings of food were dangerous if that was their effect.