Confessions of a "Dumb" User

If you recognize yourself as having done or said any number of the points below, then you're probably what I refer to as a "Dumb" user. If you do, while this is not necessarily an indication of idiocy, it is however an indication of ignorance. It's the 21st century people... it's time to step up your game! I'm not saying that you need to become an expert, but you can no longer afford to remain in blissful ignorance of basic technological skills if you want to remain competitive in the work place, or for that matter, employed.

Of course, if you'd rather eke out some sort of existence in the woods, fighting squirrels and chipmunks for your dinner of nuts, and slowly descending in barbarity, please by all means, be my guest.

1. You turn off your computer every evening by pushing and holding down the power button, because selecting "Shutdown" from the "Start" button takes too long. 
2. When asked by IT which operating system you're using, your response is: "I don't know". 
3. You're proud to state that: "I know nothing about computers, I just use them."
4. You keep your password (which happens to be "Password1") on a sticky note affixed to your monitor. 
5. When you have an issue with your computer, you report it to the IT department as "My computer is not working properly, please fix it." without relating any specifics. 
6. While working 500 miles away from your office, you expect IT to fix your infected computer, despite the fact that you do not have an internet connection. 
7. You write entire emails in the subject line.
8. Your keyboard and monitor look as though you've used them to eat a feast of Kentucky Fried Chicken on. 
9. You expect IT to fix several issues with your computer, but never have enough time to surrender the computer long enough to be fixed. 
10. You don't know where to insert the USB stick.* 
11. When IT shows up to clean your computer of a nasty infection, you say "I don't know how it happened. I wasn't doing anything!" despite the fact that we both know you shouldn't have clicked on that suspicious link. 
12. You accidentally delete or lose files on a consistent basis, yet when asking for the IT department to retrieve them for you, you never bother to provide us with the file name or file path despite being asked this on each occasion. 
13. You badger IT about the status of your "broken" computer every five minutes until it's fixed. 
14. Your laptop is essentially an auxiliary storage container for your coffee.  
15. You expect the IT department to fix websites that are not part of your organization. 
16. You expect the IT department to re-program Microsoft Office to some of your own specifications. 
17. You feel the need to report every perceived computer problem to IT, no matter how small, such as: "I was trying to go to a website, and it was slow for a few seconds.", "My keyboard is too loud.", or "I don't like the font at this website."  
18. You think wireless devices receive power through the ether, as is demonstrated by complete surprise on your part when IT changes the batteries on your "malfunctioning" wireless mouse.
19. You have no idea how to set the display properties on your computer, or what the "Control Panel" is. 
20. You think that dragging the shortcut of an application into the "Recycle Bin" is the prescribed method for uninstalling programs. 
21. You don't understand how your computer became infested with 243 infections... while downloading free movies and music from a bit torrent on company time. 
22. You refer to your computer as a "hard drive". 
23. You believe that because a device uses electricity, that the IT department should be responsible for dealing with it, such as your personal electric heater, your personal radio that fell in the tub and burnt out light bulbs. 
24. Just because a computer peripheral's USB connector won't fit properly into the wrong socket is no deterrent to you. You just jam it into the serial port anyway and call IT completely baffled when it won't work. 
25. Rebooting the computer and turning the monitor off and back on is the same thing as far as you're concerned. 

At one time or another I've had to deal with all of the above points on numerous occasions.

Of course, getting the user to admit wrong doing in these cases would require the services of the Spanish Inquisition.

Maybe if I wish really hard and say, "Nobody expects..."

*I know where I'd like to.