They may take our lives... but they will never take our Irn-Bru!

Canada has banned the import of Irn-Bru as the wise government agency that decides these matters felt that some of the food dye used in Scotland's other national drink may cause hyper activity in children.

Millions of British children over the last century have enjoyed Irn-Bru with no ill effects... so it of course makes perfect sense to ban a product that apparently poses a significant health risk. Not that any of the below items/products that are perfectly legal in Canada, pose any sort of health risk to the public at all:

Maple Syrup
Hockey (if you've spoken to any former players of the game that have suffered multiple concussions, you'll know what I mean).
Shotguns
Tim Hortons
A refusal on the part of the Health Care program to provide antibiotics for those suffering from Lyme disease
For the better part of 20 years, helicopters that routinely fell out of the sky
Toronto
Justin Bieber*

Get your priorities straight.

Time to bring in the New Order. Irn-Bru for some, heavy sack beatings for others (most notably, the people banning it)!

*Speaking of harmful exports, this one has to be about the most dangerous. Particularly as he is apparently Gozer the Destroyer.

Comments

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