Xorton's Rant

Last week I said that we would be telling you the story about Roger Rhino collecting a rather drunk Buskar Bear from the pub. However due to unforeseen set construction problems (someone keeps tearing them down)... "Ahem! Well, maybe if they weren't so poorly constructed, flimsy and inviting." Iona interjected. Quite. Anyway, I will instead be telling you a short story about How Reggie the Cat lost his Hat, and then got it back again. "Why is it called 'Tragic Tails'?" asked Iona "Isn't a tail the thing on the back end of most of my animal friends that I like to grab?" "Well, in this case it also happens to mean a story too." I said. "Now they're tragic stories because if it hasn't become clear to you yet, they all end rather horribly for at least one of the characters involved." "And that makes it funny!" clapped Iona. "To most people, yes." And with that, here is How Reggie...

During most afternoons, Iona and I often spend the time constructing things out of her Megablocks (okay, I construct, she deconstructs) for her little stuffed animal friends to play in. These little play sessions often evolve (or devolve as may be the case) into strange little stories that I create for Iona. Perhaps it's that I spend most of my days with one who communicates primarily in drool and the lack of adult contact is finally getting to me (or maybe it's just me) but her animal friends live tragic, tragic lives as I will illustrate with one such story we recently performed. It's called: "Tigger Takes a Drive in a Drag Racer" Now, before I begin, I will note that I find that all of Iona's animal friends speak like Michael Cain (or variations there of). I don't know why, they just do. They also swear a lot. Anyway... One day, Tigger was taking a stroll in the forest with his friend Roger Rhino. As they walked, they talked about the sort of th...

Over the years, as I'm sure many IT people have found too, I've encountered a good number of IT people whose services would be better suited in an environment as far away from anything remotely technical as possible, say as an additional ingredient to a pile of compost. These individuals all seem to have the same terrible habits, and as we know, they create undue stress, extra work (usually fixing their mistakes), and generally lower the morale in any IT department to the point of complete collapse. By a point of comparison, most of the good IT people I've worked with would all rather work alone, or have a pencil driven into their skulls rather than spend another minute with these incompetent folk. For your amusement (and you don't have to be in IT to get a kick out of some of this), here are their habits: 1. Memory Issues, and not RAM related This problem tops my list as probably the worst of the habits. I've worked with far too many people in IT that for a...

The holiday season is officially over, and we can all return to "normal". That's of course harder for some (such as myself) than others. As an example, Iona and I have spent many hours playing with her new mega-blocks (by playing, I mean, I build things, and she promptly destroys them). The first thing I built (which interestingly enough remained the most durable against Iona's repeated attacks) was a replica of a German World War II Sturmgeshutz tank destroyer. Aren't German World War II vehicles the first thing everyone tries to build out of their new blocks on Christmas morning? Here are some pictures of our holiday fun: Mega-Block set does not include decals of German war insignia for your tanks. Boo.  And here comes a lightening fast assault. Overturned, but still intact. Those Germans create some damned resilient designs.  With New Years' upon us, many of us make resolutions that none of us have any intention of...

And it's time once again for my annual Christmas rant. You can review my past rants here and here , which are of course just as relevant this year as they were when they were written! This year has of course been slightly different in two respects, one, the arrival of my daughter (which has had less of an impact on the holiday season than you would imagine) and two, the cancelling of our cable earlier this year. The lack of cable proved to be significant in this respect... namely, it has cut us off almost entirely from the media, which at this time of year, goes into a nitro fueled holiday frenzy. In the lead up to Christmas, I'm finding that without the usual advertising* and holiday specials being beamed into our home on a nightly basis (and my brain's ability to go into "screen-saver" mode at the first hint of an advertisement), plus with my exposure to shops** being extremely limited, Christmas has really just sort of sneaked up on us this year. It...

Iona can be a handful at most times. Feeding times are thankfully not included. Iona has a voracious appetite, and in fact will become angry with me if I don't shovel the food into her mouth quickly enough. Today we had Darth Vader Taters... They were Dark Force-a-licious.. as you can see from the after lunch photo below!

Homer:  That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away. [Draws bunny faces on the electrical outlets] Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies. Homer: She will be! Many lessons I've learned about life have been acquired from the Simpsons... and child rearing is no exception! The last few weeks of Iona being fully mobile has been a real eye opener and very educational for the both us in regards to how to baby proof your home: How not to baby-proof your home: Evaluate your home for dangers. Plug up the electrical sockets, and put padding on on sharp corners. Move nick-knacks, sensitive electronics and assorted multimedia to higher ground. Do a sweep for all bite sized objects and move them to safe out of reach places. Secure all household cleaners and poisons in a inaccessible location. Anchor all bookshelves to the wall. Congratulate yourself on doing a comprehensive...