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Second Hand Flowers

As you might well expect, like all other "special" occasions, I find Valentine's Day to be a giant, heaping load of rubbish (and incidentally, also a colossal waste of time and money).

Fortunately, I am now with someone who thinks the same thing*. Last year we were out and about on February 14th looking for someplace to eat. Each establishment we visited was packed to the bursting point with customers. It was only after a half-hour of searching for a restaurant that wasn't packed like a Hindu religious festival that it dawned on us that it was Valentine's Day. We had dinner at Harvey's... which apparently is not a top dining choice for the first Hallmark Holiday of the year. Nothing says "I love you" better than a big carton of greasy onion rings.

I'm serious.

That's probably why Valentine's Day hasn't been overly popular with my previous girlfriends (at least while dating me). Based on my personal experience, here is a list of other things you should avoid giving your significant other if you're required to participate in this nonsense (responses in parenthesis):

  • Pot and pan collection ("Oh, so I'm your slave, am I?")
  • Gift certificates ("You don't know me at all, do you???")
  • Second hand flowers ("Wtf!? You cheap @#$@%#!")**
  • Clothes iron ("I could hit you with this!")
  • Nothing ("You don't even know what day it is, do you?")
  • Chocolates that were left over from Christmas ("You're a @$$%@*^ @!#&*#&!")

Another amusing anecdote I have about Valentine's Day, is a memory I have from Grade 2. It was about a week before Valentine's and my school chums and I were out on the school-ground discussing the class list we'd all been given (so we could make sure everyone in class got a valentine). The general consensus was that none of us wanted to give valentines to any of the girls (as they were icky) and only wanted to give valentine's to the boys in the class (with the exception of "Stinky McGee"*** who nobody liked).

Simpler times.

For those of you that do participate in Valentine's Day... I hope it's better for you than receiving an arrow in the chest.

*And for that she has my undying admiration.
** Even I have to admit, this was probably the worst idea I've ever had. 
***Not his real name. 

Comments

  1. ChaosAdventurer11 February 2013 at 11:16

    My wife and I make a day out of the 13th of February, because that is when we met, making the whole 14th of February think superfluous for us.
    Sometimes when we are on our celebration of meeting, some one else 'observes' that we are so smart getting in a head of the packed nice eating joints the next night, to which we either explain what the 13th means to us, or I ask back "what is this Valentines thing you speak of?"
    It'll be 14 years since that fateful party that we both remember so well.

    ReplyDelete

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