Xorton's Rant

Now having been forced to watch "Frozen" for the millionth time (I have to credit Disney, it's like crack for toddlers), it has become incredibly clear that the real hero of Arendelle is not Queen Elsa or Princess Anna, but the slighted antagonist, Prince Hans of the Seven Isles. For those of you who have not had the dubious honour of watching "Frozen", I'll recap the basic plot. Elsa, the heir to the throne of Arendelle is born with the magical ability to create ice and snow (and apparently, textiles). As a child, she accidentally blasts her sister Anna with frost while playing. While Anna is essentially unharmed (her parents first instinct is to rush her to a bunch of strange trolls (rather than the palace physician). Her parents decide to shut the children in and hide them away from the rest of the world (always a good idea when you have a child with special challenges). Years later, the parents drown in a freak boating accident, and Elsa becomes Qu...

As anyone with a young child knows, talking with toddlers can be (and usually is) and endless source of amusement. They have a very unique view of the universe. Now that Iona has started really developing the art of conversation, I find myself taking note of some of the more outstanding examples. The following are compiled from the last few months: On Star Wars: We recently watched the original trilogy in full. Perhaps I should be concerned that she shouts "Yay!" every time Darth Vader enters the scene, or that when she see's stormtroopers, she shouts "Pew! Pew!". In any event, she clearly enjoyed the movies. Me: Iona, what was your favourite part of Return of the Jedi? Iona: The Emperor! Bwahahahaa. Me: Did you like the Ewoks? Iona: More Taun-Tauns! Me: Yes, Jedi definitely suffered from a lack of Taun-Tauns. On another Star Wars related note, Iona is not scared of Wampas or Rancors in the slightest. Large auditoriums with strange people fre...

And it's that time of year when children begin reminding you that Christmas is just around the corner. I've come to believe that children must have some sort of internal clock that is specifically wired to begin reminding you when it's less than one hundred days until Christmas. It's the only thing Iona seems to have a sense of time about and it's damn peculiar being that toddlers have no sense of time whatsoever. She says things like: "When I was older..." "It 9:30 o'clock" (at lunch) "No, it Saturday!"(on Wednesday) "It getty-uppy time!" (at 4:00 in the morning) "The sun is on!" (when there's barely a sliver of light on the horizon) "When is it today time?" "We visted grandma on that lasterday." Iona has been asking for Christmas music and Christmas television specials to be played fairly consistently (meaning every morning) and she's also been arguing with me about p...

The deadline for the free upgrade to Windows 10 is rapidly approaching: July 29, 2016. I've had a number of people ask me whether they should upgrade or not, so, let's look at the specifics first: Who's eligible?  Anyone running Windows 7, 8 or 8.1 is eligible for the free upgrade. You can upgrade your system from the Windows notification in the System Tray (you've probably noticed it nagging you for several months now to perform the install) or you can download the installer  here . If you're still running Windows XP or Vista you will need to pay for a license and do a clean install (provided your hardware will support the new operating system). You can check the minimum system requirements here . What happens during the upgrade?  The upgrade is a pretty seamless process, but may take a couple of hours to complete and your computer will reboot at least a couple of times during the install.  Once the install is complete, it may take Windows some add...

A while ago I posted a blog about free software ( here ) that would save you a few bucks. If you haven't read the original list, I really recommend it. I've recently compiled an addendum to this list (below). Actually, it's not an addendum, because that would be just tagged on to the existing list. So, it's actually a completely new list. Anyway, here it is: Useful for Home Malwarebytes Anti-Exploit : Helps protect your browser from potential threats. This is the same company that produces the Malwarebytes Anti-Malware utility (which I also highly recommend). I'd say it's a must for any of you who consider yourself dummies when it comes to computers. Of course, the best defense (other than security software) against infections is knowledge. One of these days I'll post my security briefing. It'll scare the hell out of you. 7zip : This free utility will unzip pretty much any compressed file, such as RAR, ZIP etc. Useful for when people send you a...

In my profession, over the years I've come across a lot of very bad ideas, and there seems to be no shortage of them. Unfortunately, it seems that people with no discernible technical skills or technical education often offer the most suggestions or "solutions" for technical issues. The less technical knowledge they have, the more opinionated and stubborn they are... and when you've been included in a committee of the non-technically inclined, anytime said ideas are shot down, the more they stick to their potentially ruinous concepts. Here are some of my favourites over the years, some I've personally encountered, others that have become an industry wide push: 1) We should turn the server room into an office and move all that equipment into the closet downstairs. Sounds pretty innocuous right? Well, for the un-technical, let me explain. Computers generate heat. Anyone have a laptop? Lift it up after you've been on it for a while. See how hot it gets un...

Having a Toddler at Christmas can be a horrendous and entertaining affair... often at the same time. For those that have toddlers or young children, you know that the two things are usually inseparable. Our biggest challenge right now is trying to convince Iona that the tree is not "hers", and that it is "ours". Here's some helpful hints on how to adjust the ratio in favour of the entertaining side: 1. Introduction to Santa: Start early. Many parents make the mistake of introducing their child to Santa around 1 to 2 years... which depending on what stage their at in development, usually means a freakout session in front of hundreds of strangers, and a very tired looking Santa doing his best to remain sane. Let's do the old bugger (and yourselves) a favour. Start reading Christmas stories and showing videos of Santa (via youtube, or old VHS tapes for that matter) as soon as they're able to focus their attention on something for five minutes. B...