Tragic Holidays

I hate warm climates.

This cartoon was inspired by a personal experience.

Most people who know me, know that I usually begin to fry after 5 minutes in the sun, or after the temperature climbs above 17 degrees Celsius. My favourite seasons are spring and autumn. The colder and more rain the better.

I used to say "you couldn't pay be to visit a tropical island"... and then the company I was working for at the time paid for me to accompany them on a business trip to the Caribbean. "Don't worry about it." they said. "It's very temperate in November." they said.

I should have guessed that I was in trouble when they opened the doors of the plane and the entire cabin was immediately enveloped in fog. It never dropped below 35 C and the humidity was at a constant 99 percent the entire time I was there.

I spent almost the whole week in my air conditioned room, slowly going mad. There was no TV, and I hadn't thought to bring more than one book and a couple of CDs. The only entertainment was a radio which received one station which played Caribbean music 24-7. There's only so long one can listen to steelpan based songs before you want to dig your eardrums out with a spoon. When I wasn't out briefly foraging for food to bring back, I would count the holes in the tiled ceiling.

A couple of days before the week was up, I decided to brave the elements and go on a bus tour to the south of the island. I took some amazing photographs and ended up with heatstroke. I spent the next couple of days throwing up.

I've never been quite so happy to return to a Canadian blizzard. It was -10 C at Toronto airport, and the snow was piling up. I seem to remember skipping and dancing back to our bus giggling and whistling happy tunes.

Everyone wanted to lynch me.

Of course, that's a pretty common feeling among my "friends".